Big news! Jeff and I are moving! Out of Beaverton, away from the ghosts, and there are many, of his former wreck of a marriage, into a blissful place of being very very much in love, more every day and a place that is ours to create, love, laugh and build a family and a community in.
Much of the packing, organizing, hauling, pushing, pulling has been my job. As someone who has moved countless times across many oceans, this is no new feat for me!
While the moving is old hat to me, doing it with Jeff, my absolute love, is a new thing. Absolutely, having someone else to go through the move with has been wonderful and it has been a testament to our love that Jeff is able to accept and learn and ask questions. Specifically about what my skills and weakness are in relation to the move.
I can pack like a cyclone, lift boxes that weigh more then I do, load a truck, unload a truck and organize beyond belief. Basically, as I told Jeff the other day, while we were preparing for the first Uhaul endeavor, The only thing I'm not good at is walking down stairs backwards while carrying large pieces of furniture or heavy boxes or negotiating stairs at all if I'm carrying something I don't have a good grip on or, that eclipses my view of my feet! I think those last limitations have more to do with being 5 feet tall then being disabled!
One of the first things that made me know that Jeff could be the one happened about 15 minutes into our first date... Typically, my limp and it's origins and ramifications are not something I discuss in prelude to dating or on first dates, unless of course questions are asked. And those of you who share this view with me or, have spent any time with me, know that there are "good" questions and "not so good" questions, those I will answer and those that tell me this isn't going to work, this has always applied to dating as well as work and social situations.
So, back to our story! On our first date which was virtually "blind", after getting in the car and devouring each other for a few minutes, we decided that instead of going to dinner we would pick up food and bring it back to my house, the food is unimportant as it didn't get eaten until the next day; What is important is that as we crossed the parking lot holding hands and not being able to keep our hands to ourselves, Jeff asked, "Will you tell me about the limp?"
Yes. No judgement, just a question and not a "what's with the walk, what's wrong with you, what happened? kind of question!
So I gave him an honest answer. I was 3 and a half months early, have CP, was born this way, it's not progressive, moderately painful, well, if you have the world's highest pain threshold, as I do...
"Ok" he said, "Let's go home..."!
I knew then, I know more every day, that with Jeff we are both able to live our own truths, to be completely honest with each other and in being ourselves. We acknowledge that everyone has abilities and limitations, skills and weaknesses... How you move, speak, negotiate the world has less then less to do with making real connections and honoring yourself and your partner.
This move and everything that lead up to it, the limbo of waiting for the house to sell, the difficulty of waiting for Jeff's divorce to be completed, everything we have been through together and the way we continue to laugh and love and support each other, through everything in acknowledgement of who we are and what we are good at and not so good at, tells me that my first instincts about Jeff and about us were absolutely right... Now back to the packing. May you all find love and light in your lives and continue to honor your truths and your loves..
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment