I'm on a blogging role. For at least the last year many people I love whose opinions I trust deeply, have urged me to begin working on a book. If you urged, mentioned, encouraged, pushed, prodded or put a pencil in my hand or a blank laptop screen in front of me at any time in the last eighteen months and said, "Write!", then this is for you. And for me. At first I toyed with the idea of writing a book about travel for people who identify as disabled- something you might find in both the "Travel" and "Self Help" sections of your local book seller.
But that seemed so removed, so easy to take the emotion and the fire and hurt and the joy out of.
It has taken me a long time to get here, a PhD and a lifetime and years of adventure and years of heartache and frustration. It has also taken me this last year of being so loved and so in love to believe that I have enough to say, enough to risk and enough bravery to just write a book about me. A book about me in the world.
And it all starts right now. I'm sure that some of this will (or already does) feel aggressive, angry, frustrated, frustrating...And it is meant to. It is also meant to be and feel joyful, triumphant, proud, beautiful, inspiring and sometimes, even funny!
I welcome all comments, critiques and, thoughts. I am putting my heart and my experience on the line. I am, as always willing to stand behind my beliefs and my convictions. I expect to perhaps create controversy or questions. I expect that all of you when commenting will hold true to some or all of those modes of discourse.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
and still the fight creeps in...
and still the fight creeps in...
This is not a spoiler. This will not be a theoretical or critical analysis of James Cameron's latest offering, "Avatar" although, I have much to say and at some point those words may show up here.
So, on a Saturday morning, Jeff and I show up for an 11:00 o'clock showing of the afore mentioned film (shown in IMAX and 3D) an hour early. The theater is three quarters full! And the film is worth it! Beautiful, stunning and certainly, the fact that the central character is a former marine (yes, shockingly I agreed to see a film which show cased an aspect of the armed forces- my only justification for this being that I think the American military ends up looking like the oppressive, colonialist, terrorist, oligarchical , occupying and, myopic organization that it is...) who has lost the use of his legs in former "service" who regains the use of his legs when he is in his avatar form on the ideal environment, Pandora, certainly brings up lots of disability theory and studies questions which I am sure I will continue to think about and perhaps write about here or in some other forum...
What I will write about here is what happened after sitting through three fantastic and visually stunning hours and one multiplex large sized drink (even though shared with Jeff), I of the tiny bladder of course, have to pee! When Jeff and I exited the theater we had an immediate view of the nearly mile long line extending outward from the woman's restroom.
Jeff says, almost sheepishly, "you could just this time, use that one..." pointing to the family and disabled toilet just across the lobby.
Taking one last side long glance at the women's restroom line which seems to be growing rather than shrinking, I decide to take Jeff's advice.
Making a quick bee-line for the alternate restroom I say excuse me and weave my way through two middle aged men standing about six feet away from the door to the clearly marked "family and disabled" toilet. These guys are slowly putting on coats and chatting about the film we've all just seen; they seem completely uninterested in using any of the available toilets, that is, until I place my hand on the door handle and begin to push my way in....
"Oh, excuse me, young lady, says the (at least visually) older of the two men- "did you not notice us waiting?", he says as he literally pushes my hand disdainfully off of the handle and wrestles his way into the restroom.
So there I am standing outside the restroom with his companion.
"I actually didn't realize that the two of you were waiting for the empty restroom", I say. Making sure I placed the emphasis on empty.
"Oh, we were waiting" says man two.
I wait a beat. "So, are either of you disabled?"
"No, of course not!"
"Oh, well the door is clearly marked so, maybe you two are family?" "If you are you could join him in there, that is after all, who this restroom is for, families or disabled people..."
Indignant, man two says, "Look girlie- we're not family and we're not disabled- if you have to go so badly you can join him in there.", he says smugly.
"Oh, I say, I won't be joining him- don't be an asshole. I am disabled so technically, I have more right to that space than either of you..." I say, just stating fact.
Man two becomes offended, "don't tell me you've never shared a restroom with another woman" and "why are you calling me an asshole?"
"It's not the issue and none of your business who I've shared a restroom with and, I am calling you an asshole because you're being an asshole."
"Nice", he says, "very nice" and storms off towards the exit doors muttering under his breath.
Just then his erstwhile friend exits the restroom, pushing his way past me as if my five foot frame is both invisible and made of some sort of permeable mist.
When I enter the restroom, I notice that our friend has neither managed to flush nor, return the seat to it's relaxed position, perhaps I was wrong. We all have our challenges....
So, on a Saturday morning, Jeff and I show up for an 11:00 o'clock showing of the afore mentioned film (shown in IMAX and 3D) an hour early. The theater is three quarters full! And the film is worth it! Beautiful, stunning and certainly, the fact that the central character is a former marine (yes, shockingly I agreed to see a film which show cased an aspect of the armed forces- my only justification for this being that I think the American military ends up looking like the oppressive, colonialist, terrorist, oligarchical , occupying and, myopic organization that it is...) who has lost the use of his legs in former "service" who regains the use of his legs when he is in his avatar form on the ideal environment, Pandora, certainly brings up lots of disability theory and studies questions which I am sure I will continue to think about and perhaps write about here or in some other forum...
What I will write about here is what happened after sitting through three fantastic and visually stunning hours and one multiplex large sized drink (even though shared with Jeff), I of the tiny bladder of course, have to pee! When Jeff and I exited the theater we had an immediate view of the nearly mile long line extending outward from the woman's restroom.
Jeff says, almost sheepishly, "you could just this time, use that one..." pointing to the family and disabled toilet just across the lobby.
Taking one last side long glance at the women's restroom line which seems to be growing rather than shrinking, I decide to take Jeff's advice.
Making a quick bee-line for the alternate restroom I say excuse me and weave my way through two middle aged men standing about six feet away from the door to the clearly marked "family and disabled" toilet. These guys are slowly putting on coats and chatting about the film we've all just seen; they seem completely uninterested in using any of the available toilets, that is, until I place my hand on the door handle and begin to push my way in....
"Oh, excuse me, young lady, says the (at least visually) older of the two men- "did you not notice us waiting?", he says as he literally pushes my hand disdainfully off of the handle and wrestles his way into the restroom.
So there I am standing outside the restroom with his companion.
"I actually didn't realize that the two of you were waiting for the empty restroom", I say. Making sure I placed the emphasis on empty.
"Oh, we were waiting" says man two.
I wait a beat. "So, are either of you disabled?"
"No, of course not!"
"Oh, well the door is clearly marked so, maybe you two are family?" "If you are you could join him in there, that is after all, who this restroom is for, families or disabled people..."
Indignant, man two says, "Look girlie- we're not family and we're not disabled- if you have to go so badly you can join him in there.", he says smugly.
"Oh, I say, I won't be joining him- don't be an asshole. I am disabled so technically, I have more right to that space than either of you..." I say, just stating fact.
Man two becomes offended, "don't tell me you've never shared a restroom with another woman" and "why are you calling me an asshole?"
"It's not the issue and none of your business who I've shared a restroom with and, I am calling you an asshole because you're being an asshole."
"Nice", he says, "very nice" and storms off towards the exit doors muttering under his breath.
Just then his erstwhile friend exits the restroom, pushing his way past me as if my five foot frame is both invisible and made of some sort of permeable mist.
When I enter the restroom, I notice that our friend has neither managed to flush nor, return the seat to it's relaxed position, perhaps I was wrong. We all have our challenges....
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